A troubling new trend called 'datefishing' is sweeping through the modern dating landscape, leaving genuine romantics frustrated and confused. Unlike catfishing, where someone creates a false identity, datefishing involves people who go on dates without any real intention of pursuing a meaningful relationship.
Recent data from Hily Dating App reveals a concerning pattern among Gen Z daters. Two in five Gen Z women and one in three men report feeling their dates aren't "good enough," suggesting a growing culture of perpetual dissatisfaction and endless searching for something better. This phenomenon has created a dating environment where many people are simply going through the motions without authentic interest in building connections.
What Is Datefishing?
The term describes individuals who engage in dating activities—swiping, matching, meeting up—but have no genuine intention of developing a romantic relationship. They might be seeking validation, free meals, entertainment, or simply filling time. Whatever their motivation, datefishers waste the time and emotional energy of people who are genuinely looking for love.
Three Critical Warning Signs of Datefishing
Recognizing datefishing early can save you from investing time and emotions into someone who isn't serious. Here are three telltale signs:
1. They're Constantly Comparing You to Others
Datefishers often exhibit an inability to be present during dates. They frequently mention other people they're seeing, compare you to exes, or make it clear they're keeping their options open. This behavior signals they're treating dating like a shopping experience rather than a genuine search for connection. If your date seems more interested in evaluating you against an impossible standard than getting to know the real you, they're likely datefishing.
2. They Avoid Making Future Plans
People serious about finding love naturally discuss future possibilities, even casually. Datefishers, however, keep conversations strictly in the present. They dodge questions about meeting again, remain vague about their availability, and never initiate plans themselves. When someone is genuinely interested, they make time and show enthusiasm about seeing you again. Datefishers keep you at arm's length, maintaining just enough contact to keep you interested without committing to anything concrete.
3. Their Actions Don't Match Their Words
This is perhaps the most frustrating sign. Datefishers often say all the right things—they claim they're looking for something serious, compliment you, and express interest in getting to know you better. However, their actions tell a different story. They cancel plans frequently, take days to respond to messages, or only reach out when it's convenient for them. This inconsistency reveals their true intentions: they want the benefits of dating without the responsibility of building a real relationship.
The Psychology Behind Datefishing
The rise of datefishing reflects broader changes in dating culture. With endless options available through dating apps, some people have developed a "grass is always greener" mentality. They're perpetually searching for someone better, unable to appreciate the person in front of them. This paradox of choice creates a cycle where no one ever feels good enough, and genuine connections become increasingly rare.
Additionally, social media has transformed dating into a form of entertainment and validation-seeking. For some, the thrill lies in the chase, the match, and the first date—not in building something meaningful afterward.
Protecting Yourself from Datefishers
If you're serious about finding love, trust your instincts. When someone's behavior doesn't align with their words, believe their actions. Don't waste months hoping a datefisher will change their mind. Instead, recognize the signs early and move on to someone who shares your relationship goals.
Set clear boundaries and communicate your intentions upfront. People who are genuinely looking for love will appreciate your honesty and reciprocate with their own clarity. Those who aren't serious will likely fade away, saving you valuable time.
The dating landscape may be challenging, but understanding trends like datefishing empowers you to navigate it more effectively and find someone who's truly ready for love.
